he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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