wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
