Whod you bang
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize