im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
