Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
