if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
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I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
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It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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