On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
