you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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