no. you can't hotbox the world.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
