The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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