Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
