You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
