this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
