Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
We don't watch enough power rangers
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
