Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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