I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
