windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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