I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
