Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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