theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
