this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize