You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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