I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
