she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
tell me about the eggs
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
