And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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