My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
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