remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
