since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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