Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize