Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
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