He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
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