oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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