1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
