Got a toothbrush?
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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