that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
