He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
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No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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