So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
