She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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