just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Randomize
