I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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