I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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