You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
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