a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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