I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
