I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Randomize