This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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