Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
