just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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