All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
