note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Randomize
