just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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