I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Your cock deserves a montage
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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