i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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