I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Randomize
