I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
no you cant smoke seaweed
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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