I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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