She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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